12 More Useless Items

1d12 More magical items that are useless to adventurers

Here’s some more random, useless magical items, to add a sense of wonder to the game without making your PCs overpowered.

  1. Writing Desk
  2. Slow-falling Glassware
  3. House Seed
  4. Fruit Root
  5. Quill Scribe
  6. Book of Lending
  7. Athanor of Purity
  8. Witchweed
  9. Half Empty Cup
  10. Everburning Fireplace
  11. Corlins Connectors

Writing Desk

Wondrous Item, common

This desk, which is almost always found mounted and secured below decks in a ship, renders the person seated there immune to the pitching and rocking of the ship. No matter how rough the seas, the person sitting at this desk will feel as though they’re sitting on a rock-solid level surface. Their handwriting will not be disrupted by the pitching of the decks, and the ink-pot inset into the desktop will not slosh, splash, or otherwise be spilled in any way.

Slow Falling Glassware

Wondrous Item, common

Designed by a wizard with clumsy friends, the slow-falling glassware will not shatter against the floor when knocked off the table or make a mess of the rug. Instead, these glasses will quickly right themselves, and then descend to the ground gently and land upright on the floor with no damage. If there is any liquid in them, they will not spill out when accidentally tipped. If intentionally tipped over, the liquid can be poured out as normal.

House Seed

Wondrous Item, common

A small, non-descript brown and grey seed, that when planted grows over the space of an hour into a small stone-and-wood constructed house. The house is very simple, but sturdy and measures about 20’ by 30’, with room for about 4 people to live comfortably in.

If the house is burned down, and the ground near the center of the building is dug up and searched, the seed can be found, and re-used in another place.

Fruit Root

Wondrous Item, common

This woody chunk of a tree root can be planted easily in any loose soil and watered with about a gallon of water will grow overnight into a mature fruit tree, bearing 1d4 bushels of fruit within a day, regardless of season, climate or weather. The fruit tree will then fall in line with the local seasons, fruiting as is normal for it’s breed, though it will continue growing as if it was in it’s native climate, regardless of where it is actually located. There is at least one fertile lemon tree growing deep in the frozen tundra due to this magical item.

If the tree is chopped down, or burned, or otherwise destroyed, a section of the root can be dug up, and replanted as the original. Digging the root up takes a couple of hours with the correct tools (shovel, saws, etc.).

Quill Scribe

Wondrous Item, common

This item appears to be a rather nice-looking feather quill, with a silver nib. If the quill tip is dipped in ink and touched to a piece of paper, the quill will stand up perpendicular to the paper, and stand there until pulled away from the page. Until then, the quill will transcribe all words spoken near it onto the piece of paper. When speaking, it is vital to be concise and exact, because the quill will transcribe literally every word, including punctuation and pauses. The result is frequently a salad of words that is laughable. The quill doesn’t use any ink, it only needs ink to activate it.

Book of Lending

Wondrous Item, common

When found, this book often appears to be simply a blank book, with a slight illusion enchantment attached to it. However, when touched against another book, and a command word is spoken, the book’s pages become an exact copy of any non-magical text and artwork found in the other book. Additionally, the artwork and writing will vanish from the other book. However, the duplication effect only lasts until the next sun-up. After that the Book of Lending reverts to a blank book, and the copied book’s text re-appears in it’s original form.

This can temporarily be used to “steal” a wizard’s spell book temporarily, but you must act quickly to copy any spells out of the book of lending.

Athanor of Purity

Wondrous Item, rare

An athanor is a large wood-fired stove designed to produce very even, very regular heat. They are frequently used in both bread-baking and of more interest to the arcane-minded, alchemy. This athanor is particularly useful for Alchemists because it is enchanted to boil off all of the impurities in a given solid. The simplest use of this applies to metals. In the space of a few hours, the athanor can separate the raw iron from steel, or purify a lump of bauxite into a (significantly smaller) lump of Aluminum. In more extreme uses, the Athanor can separate carbon from organic matter and form it into diamonds, however it requires vast amount of time and raw material. It can even be used to distil a very pure form of alcohol from a more raw fermented liquid like Beer or Wine.

If used to convert low-quality ore or raw materials into valuable metals or gemstones, the process adds 5gp worth of value for every 8 hours that it is operated. This ratio holds true regardless of what raw material is used, or what purified element is distilled from from the raw form. It’s unclear whether this constant is due to some deep relationship between economic scarcity and the difficulty of distillation, or whether the goddess of wealth influences the Athanor’s operation, but it seems to hold true universally.

The Athanor is approximately 6’ x 6’ x 8’, and cannot be easily moved.

Witchweed

Wondrous Item, uncommon

Witchweed is somewhat sickly looking plant which can be very rarely found growing wild, but is more commonly cultivated by sages who have no inherent magical ability. This flowering bush, when properly tended and harvested gives a useable blossom about once a week, which can be brewed into a tea which gives the drinker the ability to cast a cantrip at will. The tea works best with a fresh blossom, though the blossoms can be dried and stored for later use. Dried blossoms only grant the ability to cast the cantrip once per rest. The plant must be kept in a garden, and will not bloom while travelling, regardless of magical assistance. It blooms only for about 2 months from mid-June to August.

Half Empty Cup

Wondrous Item, uncommon

The half-empty cup is the creation of an apprentice whose taste in philosophy ran towards the absurdist. The cup appears to be a simple wooden cup, well made and laquered, but otherwise unremarkable. However, somewhat remarkably, the cup is always half-full (or half-empty) of a light, drinkable but not strong ale. If sipped, the cup will never empty. If upended, a half a cup of liquid will pour out, but no more. when the cup is placed right-side up again, the cup will be half-full of the same ale. No matter how much is drunk from it, it will never be empty when placed right side up.

The cup can be stored upside down without generating any liquid.

Everburning Fireplace

Wondrous Item, uncommon

This fireplace is entirely unmoveable, embedded in the stonework of a larger building. The enchantment lies in the stones, but cannot be properly re-built and re-installed if the stones are moved and relocated.

When firewood is placed in the fireplace, and the command word is spoken, the wood ignites, and creates a cheery glow and warmth, but the wood will never be consumed by the flames until the command word is again spoken, at which point the flames will go out, and the wood will be consumed. No matter how long the fire is left burning, it will never expire naturally. Explorers have found abandoned wizards’ towers deep in the frozen northlands where one of these fireplaces has been left burning for years.

Corlin’s Connectors

Wondrous Item, rare

These items are universally created in pairs, but a complete pair are almost never found together. These small, rectangular metal tokens are bound together when created, so that once per rest, it is possible to concentrate on your token, and scry on the other token as long as it is on the same plane as you. If the token is being held by a creature, that creature may make a DC 21 Wisdom Save to avoid being scryed on. If they succeed at the save, you cannot scry on their location again for 24 hours. Once you have successfully scryed on the other token, if it is in the posession of another creature, you can send them a short (25 words or less) telepathic message, which they will recognize as coming from someone holding the other token. They can then scry on you and send a response.

Air Blossoms

Wondrous Item, common

This plants are dearly prized by miners, and occasionally adventurers, but are largely ignored by the majority of the population. The leaves of this plant clear the Air in an enclosed space. Even when sealed in an airtight chamber, this plant will keep the air breathable indefinitely. The blossoms of this plant also release a fragrant odor, keeping the air fresh smelling.

 
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